Super U Podcast | Marie Forleo on How to Use Your Mind to Help You Succeed
On today’s episode, Equalman has a chat with thought leader, Marie Forleo, as she gives advice on how to train your mind for success.
Marie Forleo is an American entrepreneur and founder of Marie Forleo International. She is known for her advice books, Everything is Figureoutable and Make Every Man Want You, as well as the online business program B-School. Forleo hosts and stars in MarieTV, a YouTube web series, and The Marie Forleo Podcast.
5x #1 Bestselling Author and Motivational Speaker Erik Qualman has performed in over 55 countries and reached over 50 million people this past decade. He was voted the 2nd Most Likable Author in the World behind Harry Potter’s J.K. Rowling. Qualman is also the inventor of the bestselling board game Kittycorn.
Need a sneak peek? Below are the main takeaways from the episode.
Super U Podcast | Marie Forleo on How to Use Your Mind to Help You Succeed
“I don’t think that there is any human on the planet who at any given time doesn’t have at least one habit that really needs to get kicked to the curb. Well, it turns out that there’s a simple two-word fix that can dramatically increase our ability to resist temptation, and it gives us a better chance to make a better choice. Now, this is based on research done by Dr. Vanessa Patrick. She’s a professor of marketing at the University of Houston, who published her findings on the power of self-talk in the Journal of Consumer Research. She found that when participants framed a refusal as I don’t, for instance, I don’t eat chocolate cake or I don’t eat sugar, instead of I can’t. They were more successful at resisting the desire to eat unhealthy foods or skip the gym. In fact, they found that when it came to deciding whether to eat certain foods, saying I don’t was nearly three times as effective as saying no and about eight times more effective than saying I can’t. Very interesting, right? I don’t versus I can’t to teeny tiny words that can make a ginormous difference. And here’s why. When we say I don’t, we are empowered, we’re determined we are at choice. It’s a tough, strong phrase, like end of story. But when we say I can’t, we disempower ourselves, it sounds like we’re not allowed to do something by some outside force. You know what we make ourselves feel deprived when we say I can. Now what’s even cooler, though, is that we can tuck this little trick into every corner of our lives, we can start making some clear, strong declarations.”
“…So you might be asking yourself, well, how do you stop comparing, it’s pretty simple, you have got to put blinders on because constantly looking to the right or to the left is actually what slowing you down and you need to focus on your own game. So if you really want to do a comparison, cleanse, try this. Do a total social media detox and stop following or looking at people who you tend to compare yourself to, don’t pick up magazines or watch TV shows that portray some unrealistic ideal of perfection. Do not go actively searching for things that you know are going to leave you feeling upset. Now, I know that this takes discipline and it takes constant vigilance. But I gotta tell you commit to this and I promise you will feel better than you’ve ever felt before. And you’re gonna have more time and energy to make your dreams come to life.”
“Sometimes the only way to create what you really want means walking away from the shore thing you already have. Now, before we dive into this, I want to share a little line from Jim Collins, the author of the classic book, Good to Great, Jim says, Good is the enemy of great and is why so many things don’t become great. We don’t have really great schools because we have good schools. We don’t have great companies because we have so many good ones. And when we look back over life and see if it’s a great one, we don’t see many because it’s just so easy to settle for a good one. Now if we unpack this a bit, we’ll see that there are two main factors that keep us trapped in Goodlatte. Number one is comfort, whether it’s a certain amount of money that you’re used to making or a warm body next to you when you’re watching Game of Thrones. Sometimes it’s hard to walk away from the shore thing you already have. Because you’re not sure if you’re going to find something out there. That’s better to fill the void number two is what I call ope. Other people’s expectations. The reason ope is so hard to break free from is because we don’t want to disappoint people, we don’t wanna let them down. And of course, we don’t want to rock the boat. But if you want to shift anything from good to great, you got to be willing to shake some shears up, which is exactly what I had to do when I walked away from over a million dollars in revenue…”
“According to Frankl, he believed that one component of well-being is based on a certain degree of tension between what one has already accomplished and what one has yet to achieve. So in other words, who you are today, and who you hope to become tomorrow. So if you’re worried or ever have those thoughts, that somehow you’re a failure, because you haven’t achieved all of your dreams quite yet, listen to me, when I say this, you are not a failure, that tension is a really good thing. So embrace that drive that you have embrace your ambition and the gap between where you are and who you are today, and where you want to go and who you want to become over the next year and 10 years, and so on. So when it comes to making meaning in our lives, Frankel shares three simple avenues. The first avenue is creating work or doing a deed. In other words, having a project that you’re working on that requires your skills and abilities. You know, one of the most powerful stories in the book for me was when Frankl arrived at Auschwitz, and he had the manuscript for a book that he was working on, and he had it in his coat pocket. And when he arrived, they confiscated it from him, just like everything else. And he was heartbroken. But what he did throughout his time there is he started looking for these little scraps of paper, and he was collecting them so he can start recreating his manuscript. And that really helps keep him focused. And there was this other thing that he shared that I really related to, you know, while I have a stepson, and a fur baby, I don’t have any biological children. And he was talking about this book, being his mental child, and having the ability to focus on that mental child and how important it was for him to nurture it and bring it to life and put that manuscript back together was really key in helping him survive that experience…”
“The reality check that hit me like a ton of bricks, all of the joy and excitement and fun that we want in life never comes from external circumstances. It always comes from the energy and attention and the consciousness that we bring into each and every moment. So Laurie and I talked about this a lot. And if you really want to solve this problem, I need you to go read page 10. In my book, Make Every Man Want You. It’s all about making isness your business. So what does that mean? making isness your business means that you show up in each moment. And you do this moment like you friggin mean it, that means you bring your A game that means you bring your full enthusiasm, your attention, your love, to whatever you’re doing, wherever you are, and whoever you’re with. Why? Because all pain and frustration and annoyance in our life come from resisting the moment it comes from saying this moment isn’t how it should be. But guess what the moment all ready is. So you only have two choices in life, you can either resist it and be frickin miserable. Or you can engage with the moment and have a damn good time. In fact, make it an engagement party. That’s right, you gotta love the moment put a ring on it. Because the truth is, you can feel fully alive in any situation, or you can feel like total crap in any situation. It’s not the circumstances, it’s actually what you bring to them. Once I really got this, I was so much happier I was performing in my jobs better. And ironically, everything that I wanted to create in my future started happening a lot faster.”
“Your work does not equal your worth. Entrepreneurs are not better than non-entrepreneurs and working on Wall Street isn’t better than working as a waitress. There’s no such thing as only anything. Our true worth doesn’t come from the work we do. It comes from who we are as human beings. Now I know sometimes that’s easier said than done. But if you want to be in charge of your happiness, you need to remember that number two is to begin with the end in mind. So you said that you were feeling aimless and this writing exercise, good for a creative writer is really going to help you figure out where to set your sights. So it’s based on Stephen Covey’s idea begins with the end in mind. And when I say end, I actually mean the end of your life. So imagine it’s years from now. It’s your last day on earth and you’re thinking back on the journey. What kind of memories do you want to have? What kind of adventures will you have taken? Are there certain places you went? friends you made and things you did with them? So don’t just think about this, actually write it down. I promise you’re going to uncover some pretty awesome ideas that might just be worth aiming for. Number three, flesh out the details. So you said that you want to feel fulfilled and accomplished. Well, what exactly does that mean to you? I’d love you to get specific. Does that mean that you write every day? Does it mean that if you publish a novel, would you feel accomplished? If you just got up and put on some underwear? I certainly do. I want you to get clear and specific and make sure that you include some things that you can do on a daily basis. So every day you get to feel fulfilled and accomplished,
“How do I stay motivated, especially after things have been really difficult, and we’re kind of still in this COVID stage? So I want to talk through some things that are both important to me. But as a coach, I want to give you specific advice from what I picked up from your question and your vibe. So the first thing is self-care. First, it has been a really difficult time, and it has been a really difficult year, and that stress can take a toll. So one of the keys for me to stay consistently motivated is to make sure that I’m doing the simple things that make the biggest difference in terms of my energy, my health, and my cognitive prowess. What does that mean? Meditation is a must for me, every single day, we’ve talked about this in the past, and we even have an episode about my personal practice. And we have a free little download. If you want to take advantage of that. We’ll put both in the video. And we’ll put it in the description below. Exercise. I’ve talked about this so many times in the show because it is one of my favorite ways to make sure that I stay energized. It’s one of the things that I do to make sure that my brain is operating at top capacity. And it’s just really fun. But there’s another element that I want to mention. Now I’m not a doctor, and I don’t play one on the internet. However, I try and take really good care of my health. And one of the things that I’ve noticed, and that I specifically went through recently, was just understanding and feeling like, wow, my energy isn’t where it normally is. And you might remember that late last year, I had a pretty major surgery. So there was a lot of recovery with that, too. My point is this, sometimes we get into a specific stage of life, where things that we’re eating things that we’re drinking, just ways that we’re living, actually pull our energy down, make us more lethargic, and it makes it harder for our brain to feel energized to be able to focus and concentrate…”
Connect with Marie Forleo:
Click here to subscribe and listen to the full episode.
To ensure you don’t miss future episodes, subscribe to our podcast by clicking here >> Super U Podcast. We hope these tips help unlock and unleash your inner superpower!
The Super U Podcast is hosted by #1 bestselling author and Motivational Speaker Erik Qualman.