Super U Podcast | 7 Super Tips with Gabby Bernstein
On today’s episode, Erik sits down with #1 best-selling author, Gabby Bernstein, as she reveals her insights on how to get unstuck and keep treking on.
Gabrielle Bernstein is an American author, motivational speaker, and podcast host. Gabby grew up meditating beside her mother in ashrams across upstate New York. Her life took a dark turn in her late teens and early 20s when she rebelled and embraced alcohol and drugs. Finding sobriety in 2003, she then worked to “turn fear into faith, to stop chasing life and truly live.”
5x #1 Bestselling Author and Motivational Speaker Erik Qualman has performed in over 55 countries and reached over 50 million people this past decade. He was voted the 2nd Most Likable Author in the World behind Harry Potter’s J.K. Rowling. Qualman is also the inventor of the bestselling board game Kittycorn.
Need a sneak peek? Below are the main takeaways from the episode.
Super U Podcast | 7 Super Tips with Gabby Bernstein
[3:00] Tip #1
“We all have these moments in time when we get super activated. But we don’t know why often. And we get triggered. And we notice, oh, I’m freaking out. And we have a feeling. And then we run from that feeling. And the ways that we run from those feelings is workaholism, or overeating or any form of addiction, rage. negative self talk, we do a lot of things over the trigger response the feeling of the trigger. And that actually becomes the trigger response, how we react over that feeling. And in the beginning of this book, I just dive right in with noticing your triggers noticing how they’re affecting your life. And giving yourself the opportunity to take an inventory of all of the patterns in your conscious or subconscious that are showing up over and over again, because I always say if you don’t show up for what’s up, it’s gonna keep showing up. And that’s that’s a huge message that’s going to come through this instantly as you start this practice. So it’s as simple as noticing what triggers you noticing how it feels, and then noticing what you do in response to that feeling.”
[4:39] Tip #2
“I have now trained in the practice of internal family systems therapy and IFS is based on the premise that we are not one person we have many different parts of who we are. And I write about this in depth in the book. And we have these impermissible child parts trauma with a big T trauma with a small t that We experienced as children. So it can be a big T trauma like mine were experiencing sexual abuse as a child, or it could be big T trauma of living with an alcoholic parent or repeated neglect, or it’s a small t trauma of being told you are stupid or that you’re not good enough for being bullied. And whatever those traumas may be from our childhood, we push them down, we lock them up. And in ifs, that’s known as exiled parts, like the inner children that we were just like, nope, not going there. And we build up all these other parts that you just referenced these protection mechanisms, these, and they’re known as protector parts. And so one that you and I share is just this like achieving mentality, which, while it’s been in the, in as a force for good in the world, and it’s been excellent. For me, I can only speak for myself, I don’t know you have more balanced in some ways. We’re different, different in our ways that we show up as protectors. But in my protector part, I used that work for so many years to as another form of anesthetizing that impermissible feeling of inadequacy from my childhood, or fear for my child or terror from my childhood. And so it’s the first step of that willingness is the willingness to witness these different protection protection mechanisms, aka protector parts, and to see ourselves not as just one person, but someone who has many different personalities, many different ways that we fight back and numb out. So we don’t have to feel.”
[6:47] Tip #3
“Yeah. And I think it’s important to recognize the medical world in this conversation, because it’s not that you’re not having these physical symptoms, or diagnosed experiences. It’s that you end Yes, at times you need medical intervention. 100%. I mean, I just was very open about that in my own experience. But so this is all true. But the bigger message is that you can’t just take the pill and not address the psychosomatic condition not address the the underlying root cause of that psychosomatic condition. So, in my opinion, and I’m really speaking on behalf of the work of Dr. John Sarno, and many other spiritual teachers and doctors that believe in the practice of really addressing the core wounds of rage and shame and impermissible feelings that we just pushed down as a way of addressing the body as well. But I do believe it’s very valuable to use both right I’ve in my in my life, I’ve, I’ve had to rely on PPIs. But that was the dieting and the medication was never going. It wasn’t dieting, but like healthy diet, and the medication was never going to be enough. I had to change my energy, I had to change the sense I had to restore a sense of safety in my body.”
[8:26] Tip #4
“It’s not about getting anything being anywhere, looking a certain way. It’s about how you want to feel. My vision statement years ago, when I first got clean and sober was I want to wake up without anxiety every day. Now vision is my reality now. When and, and so the vision statement, process in the book is really about saying, you know, how do I want to feel in the light in my life? How do I want to be? Not who am I? What am I you know, it’s like what is it that I want to have inside? And that relates to the parts because we never actually connect to the need. Like, never have you ever asked yourself, what is my introverted part need right now? No, I wouldn’t have that conversation. And a very easy way to sort of guide yourself into this right here right now is just to notice a part of you that’s really up right now. You know, maybe it’s the controller maybe not you everybody listening including you. And notice just as there’s a three-step process, notice no need.”
[10:00] Tip #5
“always able to lean into two different energies, which is a topic we’ve spoken about often here on the show. But when people say, oh, I want to get myself into attracting power, I want to manifest more into my life, they often think that it’s something that they need to do. Like, I need to make a vision board or I need to talk about it a lot, or I need to affirm how I want to feel, or I need to do do do I need to meditate more I need to read that book when really the simplicity is that it’s not so much about what we do. But it’s about how we feel. When we feel good, we attract more good into our life. That is a core line of this show, dear Gabby, it comes up over and over and over again. And this card is it says when I’m connected to my joyful presence, I attract support from the universe. For me, Listen, I try to find even the most difficult circumstances as an opportunity to lean into something that’s a better feeling vibration. So sometimes, you may be thinking, well, how can I lean into joy when I’m dealing with a diagnosis or when I have just lost my job or when I am having struggles in my marriage or whatever the problem might be? This is when we really have to get to work those moments when things are difficult, and there isn’t joy in sight, that’s when we have to do our best to lean into the next best feeling vibration.”
[11:39] Tip #6
“There’s a lot of beautiful books out in the world that talk about manifestation and talk about CO creating with the universe and bringing in all this stuff that we want. And a lot of the messaging around manifestation is about getting something and about bringing some some new way into our life. So maybe it’s getting that car, getting that relationship getting that job. And yes, allowing beautiful miracles to come to us allowing effects of our intentions to flow to us, is part of the gig. But there is a greater purpose of learning to co create learning to practice the power of manifestation and use the law of attraction in our life. And the primary tool I’m going to give you today is just really starting to recognize a beautiful concept that my my friend Wayne Dyer loves to talk about, which is that our intentions create our reality. So if your intention is to have lots of money, so you can feel better about yourself, you very well may get lots of money, but you won’t necessarily enjoy your life, you won’t necessarily feel good about yourself, because the money will not be the service that is going to bring you that happiness. So recognizing that we can be unapologetic about whatever it is that we want. But we need to really tune into what is the intention behind it. And if the intention is is some kind of outside desire, that’s some belief system of form, that this thing will make me happy, we are bound to wind up with that thing, but still unhappy. So what we need to start to check into is what is the intention behind the desire for that outcome. And the intention that’s going to lead us to the greatest happiness is an intention of service and love. And so when I say service, a great example is I have a new book coming out in September. And rather than praying and manifesting and working towards holding visions and saying prayers, and seeing visual visualization meditations, about seeing myself on the New York Times bestseller list, I’ve shifted my manifestation and my process and my and my co creation, to just seeing this book in the hands of those who need it. And so I’m holding the vision of millions of people holding this book in their hands, and being extremely served and healed as a result of experiencing my work. I know for a fact that that desire, and that intention is fueled with love and fueled with service. And as a result, many miracles will occur this, this book is completely hooked up. And I already know the outcome. The outcome is is regardless of whether it’s on the New York Times bestseller list or not, the book has already achieved its success, which is to serve. And so when I stay connected to that greater purpose and recognize that my intention is to be of service not, my intention is to get on the New York Times bestseller list. I can allow that to occur naturally. And more importantly, I can allow the service to come through.”
[14:53] Tip #7
“The universe is always listening to everything we do. And the universe is a yes for what we’re I guess for So by following along and sticking around till the end, you’ve already begun the journey of saying yes to feeling new. Opening up your conscious awareness to possibility. So, there are a lot of other first steps, but the absolute first step is to really claim your yes for change. And I don’t think that it works without that desire and a vision for a new life. And in fact, early in the book, I have a whole chapter on how to create a vision for your new life. And one of those vision statements for me was I want to wake up without anxiety every day. And so I would ask the listener now just to think about, what is it that you want to feel? What is it? What does it feel like? What does it look like? What is it? What does it smell like? And really let yourself go there? How do I want to feel I want to feel free in relationships, I want to feel financially secure. I want to wake up without anxiety every day, I want to, I want to not be so reactive, right? But really claim how you want to feel and hold that vision. Because that is always going to be the guiding light for the journey ahead because you have something to hold on to.”
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The Super U Podcast is hosted by #1 bestselling author and Motivational Speaker Erik Qualman.